


But if you can just wait

by sarahcakes613



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26442886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahcakes613/pseuds/sarahcakes613
Summary: After Rafael does not die as he expects to the day after he turns 40, the people around him react pretty much the way he expects. For the most part.or, five reactions to his not dying that Rafael could have predicted and one that surprised him.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	But if you can just wait

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I will make it eventually](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25943431) by [sarahcakes613](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahcakes613/pseuds/sarahcakes613). 



> You may want to read part one (linked above) to fully understand what's happening here. If not, all you really need to know is that Rafael was pretty sure he was going to die the day after his 40th birthday, because he hadn't met his soulmate. Spoiler alert, he had met his soulmate and he didn't die.

1

Lucia cries when she sees Rafael. Her hands flutter around his shoulders like she can’t decide if she wants to hit him, hug him, or just hold him tightly to make sure he’s not going to disappear from her sight.

“Madre de dios,” she exclaims, finally settling on holding his chin firmly in one hand. “I am so happy to see you, mi hijo, but if you _ever_ put me through that kind of terror again, I will send you up to San Pedro myself, entiendes?”

“Si, mami, lo siento.” Rafael murmurs, drawing her close and kissing her temple. “If it helps, I think you’ll have to get in line.”

She laughs, a watery sniff through her tears. “Yes, and I want to meet this man, your soulmate. After all this time, oh _Rafi_.” Her face crumples again amid fresh sobs and Rafael sighs, shifting his arms around her to reach for a tissue.

He tells her about Sonny over dinner, her pork chops and black beans tasting like everything he had thought he would never get to enjoy again. He describes the way they had first viciously parted and the surprise he had felt waking up the day after his birthday, but how sure he had been of who was responsible.

She listens attentively, occasionally reaching out to smooth down a lock of his hair or fix his collar. He wants to roll his eyes, his senior mother neatening him like it is his first day of kindergarten, but he knows she needs the reassurance of physical touch.

When he finally leaves, he is carrying a bag of leftovers to replenish his entirely empty fridge and for the first time since waking up not even 24 hours ago, he feels full.

2+3

Carmen asks if she can keep the cat. She mumbles the question into Dorothy Wallace’s fur as she cradles the Ragdoll in her arms. Dorothy has been living with Carmen for the past week – first as expected and then as a stopgap while Rafael sorts out his new living arrangements with Sonny.

“Absolutely not!” Rafael says firmly. “She’s still my cat, and Sonny’s very excited about meeting her.”

Carmen taps Dorothy’s front paws together like the cat is pleading and they both stare at Rafael with matching big brown eyes.

“She’s coming with me,” Rafael insists. “Sonny’s already cleared space out for her dishes and litterbox.”

Carmen rolls her eyes, but sets Dorothy down. She winds her way between Carmen’s legs, purring loudly, and Carmen looks triumphantly at her former advisor.

Rafael sighs. “You can have her on weekends.” He says begrudgingly. “And you’re keeping the class.”

Carmen agrees, happy for the continued opportunity to use his seminar for her practicum. Rafael looks down at his cat with a wrinkled nose and can’t help but feel a little betrayed by the beast.

“You could at least have waited til I was actually dead before transferring your loyalty.” He says to Dorothy Wallace.

She flicks her tail and butts her head against his leg. He reaches down and scratches under her chin. Her chirping mews are music that he had thought he’d never hear again.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, “I’m happy to be here too.”

4

“You’re welcome.” Rita says, holding her hand out, palm up.

Rafael looks from her empty palm up to her face quizzically and then tentatively puts his hand on hers, not sure what she’s looking for.

She rolls her eyes, but squeezes his hand once before letting go.

“I can’t help but feel a little bit responsible.” She says, perching on the arm of an overstuffed chair. They are in his living room, where she has been helping him pack books.

His landlord had been sympathetic, certainly, but the school has a waiting list of professors who want housing and as he is leaving the department he no longer qualifies.

“I’m going to need you to explain that one,” Rafael says. “because in the long line of what-ifs that had to occur to get me to Sonny, I’m not sure I see where you feature.”

“I’ve always encouraged you to keep looking,” she says, pausing to sip at a glass of wine. “Clearly some part of you still believed in the process.”

Rafael toys with his own wine glass. He’s not going to admit it to her, but he has wondered if there’s something to that. Not her responsibility, that’s just codswallop, but the premise that some part of him still believed. A small part, buried deep within him, hidden from himself as much as anyone.

“You know, those SoulSearch catalogues aren’t cheap,” Rita says. “But as you’re unemployed, I suppose I can overlook repayment for now.”

“Thanks,” he responds dryly. “I’ll make sure you’re the first creditor I repay when I’m working again.”

She nods, confident in what is her due.

5

His eyes twinkle, and his smile twinkles, and Rafael’s pretty sure the man’s _eyebrows_ twinkle. He’s got his hand out to shake and Rafael takes it, only to find himself pulled in to an awkward embrace.

He coughs when it goes a beat too long, and Jack lets him go.

“Go on then,” Rafael says, straightening his jacket. “I can tell you want to.”

“This changes everything!” Jack bursts out. “Your entire thesis could be revised, you could affect years of thought with your experiential knowledge, the implications alone! This is going to send ripples through the entire field of soulmate theory – “

“And someone else is going to lead the charge.” Rafael finishes for Jack.

Jack shuts his mouth and squints at him. Rafael shakes his head.

“I still believe in my thesis, Jack. I don’t see the evidence in my lived experience as being enough to change that. If someone else wants to disprove it I’d be happy to be interviewed, but I’m done with academia.”

It had only been a tentative thought for most of this first week of his new life, but it’s gained strength the more he thinks about it. Sonny has assured him that he can support them both while Rafael thinks about what he wants to do next.

He loves his course, the research he devoted his life to, but it belongs to a version of him that doesn’t really exist anymore and wants to see who else he can be.

* * *

+1

The first time Rafael walks into the campus café after waking up the day he expected to die, the barista bursts into tears.

Sonny is waiting in the car while Rafael runs in to grab them sandwiches after the last sweep of his office. He is just about to ask for his usual when the young man looks up from where he is sliding a tray of cookies into the display, sees Rafael, and shrieks.

Rafael jumps, the barista jumps, and then Rafael stands there awkwardly as the young man rushes out from behind the counter and throws his arms around Rafael.

He is standing there clumsily patting the kid’s curly hair when Sonny comes in.

“Hey, I’m double-parked, what’s taking so long?” He pulls up short when he sees Rafael with his arm around a crying boy in a café apron. Rafael stares at him helplessly.

After another few sniffles, the boy releases his hold on Rafael and steps back, wiping his eyes on his shirt sleeve.

“Aw man, I’m sorry,” the boy laughs in a nervous high-pitched giggle. “I just, everyone on campus knows your story, right, so we all thought you were dead.”

It strikes Rafael that he hadn’t really thought about what that would have meant for the people he interacted with outside of his personal milieu. His postal carrier, the family that own the bodega at the end of his street, and apparently the students who work in the campus café and know his regular order.

“If it helps, we all did.” Sonny interjects, lightly punching the kid on the arm in a friendly manner. The kid’s smile wavers and then holds.

“It’s because of you, isn’t it?” He says to Sonny. Sonny nods.

The kid looks from Sonny to Rafael and back. “I don’t get it,” he says. “Why did it take you so long?”

Rafael’s not sure he needs to explain to some teenage barista his entire life’s work, but the boy waves his hand when Rafael says as much.

“I don’t mean that, I mean now, or well, a month ago. When you were both in here. Why didn’t you see it then?”

Sonny and Rafael exchange a confused glance and then both look back at the boy. Rafael looks at the name tag on his apron.

“Noah, is it? What exactly were we supposed to see?”

Noah waves at them both. “The glow! You were both glowing! I even told my coworker, but she didn’t come in until after you walked out,” He says to Rafael. “And by then his glow had faded,” He points to Sonny. “But you were both glowing when you first came in together. I thought for sure it was a first spark.”

A smile slowly unfurls on Sonny’s face.

“Sometimes these things just like to make a dramatic entrance.” He says, and Rafael smirks, thinking about his mad dash to the court house.

Noah fixes their sandwiches and throws in two of Rafael’s favourite oatmeal cranberry cookies for free.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't really find a place for it in the story but I had Carmen's own academic background all worked out. Unlike Rafael, she's always known she would live past 40 because she met her soulmate (who is a platonic mate) on the first day of second grade. Carmen's own doctoral thesis is on the theory that early exposure to your soulmate has a positive effect on your overall longevity.


End file.
